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Doughuts :) by Amy Loves Yah

Doughnuts ūüôā by Amy Loves Yah

Tomorrow is National Doughnut Day.  That is something to celebrate.

Doughnut grease pretty much runs thru my veins.   One of my first memories is being very small, probably only two or three years old, and going to the doughnut shop where my teenage sister worked.  I remember sitting in the small shop with my mom and brother eating doughnuts watching her work behind the counter.  She started working there at the tender age of fifteen and basically ran the shop after the owner went home when he was done making the doughnuts.  He even trusted her to pay herself out of the money from the cash register!

My sister moved on from the doughnut shop after a few years but we still frequented the town’s other doughnut places.¬† If we didn’t go to get doughnuts on Saturday then we had them at church on Sunday.¬†¬†As a special¬†treat¬†after dinner, sometimes¬†my doughnut loving mom would make doughnuts with canned biscuit dough that she fried in oil and glazed with a powdered sugar and milk frosting.¬† Those doughnuts were so good, piping hot and dripping with gooey icing.¬† Anyone else drooling right now?

My husband and I got a kick out of discovering that we shared a doughnut-laden background.  His big brother had a job at another doughnut shop in town several years after my sister graduated from school.   There was even a time when his parents had to fill in at the doughnut shop for him so that he could start a more promising job at a big local company.  My mother-in-law says she hated coming home smelling like grease and sugar but how bad could that really be?

When I was in college, I saw Rosie O’Donnell raving about Krispy¬†Kreme¬†on her talk show so when I visited NYC for the first time, I sought out the famed doughnut shop and tasted my first one.¬† It was a cream-filled chocolate-glazed pillow of heaven!¬† The day that we flew back home, I got up early to take the subway back to Krispy¬†Kreme¬†in order to buy a dozen to take back home for my family to sample.¬† They somehow survived a full day of flying across country with only minimal smushing.¬†¬† You can imagine my disgust when my¬†family declared them “okay“.

A few years after that, Krispy¬†Kreme¬†opened a store near our town.¬† There was a huge line for weeks to get those things.¬† Of course, I was one of the carboholics¬†waiting in line for an hour for one of the hot doughnuts.¬† I don’t think that anyone can deny their awesomeness when hot out of the fryer.¬† Delicious!

The doughnut theme in our family almost came full circle right after my husband and I got married.¬† We saw an ad in the paper for a doughnut shop that was for sale.¬†¬†¬†It cost about ten grand and we even took a drive to go check it out one Sunday afternoon.¬† We didn’t have the money but planned on borrowing it from my dad.¬† We thought about it for several days but ultimately decided that it wasn’t a good investment.¬† When we think about that now we find it kind of hilarious.¬† The thought of us making doughnuts for a living is too funny.

Sadly, doughnuts¬†again¬†became a staple in my diet a few years ago.¬† My mother had been diagnosed with cancer and due to the aggressive chemotherapy she was taking, her appetite went down to nothing.¬† She literally almost starved herself to death at one point.¬† One of the only things that she could even think about eating were doughnuts.¬† Before her treatments, we would stop by the doughnut shop that she liked and get some.¬† The maple glazed were her favorite but she usually would only eat a few bites.¬†During this time, I was pregnant with my girl and I would easily put¬†away three or four doughnuts while watching my mom pick¬†at hers.¬†¬†I¬†definitely think that¬†eating those¬†doughnuts became a small comfort to me at a time that was so heavy with worry and sadness.¬† ¬†It’s been two years since she passed away and I can’t drive past that doughnut shop without getting a little overwhelmed¬†emotionally.

We’ve passed our love of doughnuts onto our little girl.¬† She even has some doughnut themed pajamas.¬† I’ll have to make sure they are clean so she can wear them to bed tonight.¬†¬† I’m even thinking about making doughnuts with her as a way to pass on the doughnut love that my mom and I shared.¬† If I do, I’ll post about it later.¬† Until then, go eat a doughnut and think about all of the ways those fluffy circles of dough heaven make our lives better!

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Growing up in the 1980’s, it was pretty much a given that you were friends with the kids in your neighborhood.¬† During the summer, we went to each others houses and swam in each others pools.¬† It was a blast.¬† And I¬†don’t remember my parents being concerned about where I was and who I was with.¬† There was a time or two when I wanted to spend the night with a friend and I wasn’t allowed.¬† Probably because my parents didn’t¬†know the other kid’s parents at all.¬† Or maybe because they knew too much.¬† It was a small town.

This is something I have been wondering about a lot lately.¬†¬†Even though we have lived in our house for over seven years, we have never formed a bond with any of our neighbors.¬†¬†We do wave and say¬†hello but we¬†don’t¬† have¬†cookouts or block parties or anything like that.

My little girl is two and a half years old now and I am terrified that any day now, my neighbor’s kids are going to knock on my door and ask her to come over and play.¬† My¬† main concern is¬†with one particular family.¬† They have little kids that are¬†very outgoing and will just come up to¬†my front door and talk to me.¬† One even asked me one time¬†“When are you going to have us over to play?” ¬†Not shy at all.¬† What’s wrong with this?¬† Why wouldn’t I want my kid to have more friends?

First of all, I¬†don’t really know these neighbors.¬†¬† I have only talked to them a few times, but it’s more what I have seen that concerns me.¬† During the day,¬†one parent¬†watches the kids.¬†¬†¬†This parent lets¬†them play in the street.¬†Literally, play in the street.¬† Ride their tricycles in¬†the street.¬†¬†Leaves them outside¬†and goes inside.¬† These kids are 5 and under.¬† And although we live in a relatively quiet neighborhood, the streets are pretty busy with lots of teens and younger, careless drivers.¬† I don’t ever let my child go in the street unless she is holding my hand and we are crossing¬†it to¬†get to another sidewalk.¬† I want that drilled into her head.¬†¬†And I wouldn’t dream of letting her play in the front yard alone.

There are a few other families with kids similar in age to mine and I wonder what they think about the¬†issue of neighborhood friendships. ¬† I even ran into another neighbor with a toddler at a garage sale and mentioned that they should come play with us one day.¬† She seemed happy to get the invite.¬†¬† Then, I started wondering about the¬†rules¬†of parent supervision on playdates.¬† When we get together with our play group¬†from the play gym, it’s understood that both parents will be there supervising.¬† I would hope that the other moms in the neighborhood would feel that way, but from what I have seen, I can’t assume anything.

Does anyone else have this concern on their mind? How do you handle an awkward situation without letting someone know that you question their parenting decisions?

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Library Misadventures

Taking a two year old to the library is not for wimps.¬† I guess that makes me a huge wimp because every time that I attempt to take her, I leave there almost in tears, on the verge of a tantrum myself.¬† I had pretty high hopes for today’s library visit because the last time we went, she was well behaved. We went in, looked for board books for her, played with the puzzles and did the computer games for a little bit.¬† I was even able to pick out a few books for myself. I should have known it was a freak incident.

Today did not go nearly as well.  She bounced around the kids area like she was in a pinball machine.  As soon as I got her situated on the computer games, she was taking off for the puzzles. From the puzzles she fled for the big chairs in the adult area.  After about 20 minutes, I started to go into self-perservation mode.  My stomach was growling and my sugar was starting to crash.  Recipe for disaster.  As I guided her to the check out station to get our books, she figured out that we were leaving.  She went into full meltdown.   Screaming, crying, collapsing onto the floor.  My kid is loud, too.  Ear drum-busting loud.

I picked her up and tried to hold her.¬† She squirmed and did the limp body thing.¬†¬†I was getting the look.¬† The “lady, do something about your kid” look.¬†¬† I somehow managed to check out the books with one hand while holding all 33 pounds of her on my other hip.¬† We made¬†it back to the car.¬† She was still¬†screaming.

It’s my fault, I know.¬† I shouldn’t¬†expect so much out of her.¬† Of course, she is going to be excited and want to explore the environment.¬† There are so many things for her to look at there.¬† It’s so fun.¬† Why would she want to leave after only 20 minutes?¬†¬† I see other little kids who listen to their parents.¬† How do they make that happen?¬†Someone tell me!

My kid is so advanced in many, many, ways but when it comes to paying attention to me and following directions, she has a lot to learn.  I think I have a lot to learn, too.

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Momma Friends

Recently, a friend of mine mentioned that trying to make new friends as a¬† mom is a lot like dating! She said she just can’t get past that first step from acquaintance to friend when she meets a fellow mom.¬† I knew exactly what she meant.¬†¬†She is a¬†friend that¬†I’ve had since before kids.¬† We worked together at¬†one point and we have been through a lot together.¬† She lives¬†about 30¬†minutes from me so getting together doesn’t happen as much as we would like.¬†¬† She’s¬†been working on making friends in her area.¬† I know it’s hard. ¬† I guess you could say that I signed up for a matchmaker for momma friends.

See, I was the first of my group of¬†friends¬†to have a baby.¬†¬† I had a span of¬†nine months when the only communication I had with other new moms was on an online forum.¬† Not very helpful or fulfilling emotionally. It got to the point where I was feeling very depressed and isolated. ¬†¬†¬†Finally, one day when my girl was about 9 months old I decided to¬†sign her up for an infant music class at a play center.¬†¬† The first class was¬†fun and she loved it.¬† There was one other mom there with her child.¬† We talked a little but it wasn’t an instant connection.¬† We continued going to the class once¬† a week and I really started to look forward to it.¬† Probably more than my kid.¬† Every week there was a new mix of parents and babies.¬† Getting to chat with other moms about naps, breastfeeding and diapers was so fun.¬†¬† It¬†gave me¬†a reason to get dressed and out of the house.¬† One day, a¬†pretty woman with a sweet baby boy came to class and we talked a little.¬† Then she asked me for my phone number.¬† I got hers.¬† A few days later, I worked up the nerve to ask her to get coffee.¬† I think my hands were shaking when I dialed the number.¬† We met and had a great time.¬† She was the type to talk to everyone and was super outgoing.¬† Thru her, I got to know several other moms and their kids.¬† We went to parks, the library, had playdates.¬† This was almost 2 years ago and we are still close friends.¬†¬†¬†We still go to the play center once week.¬† I’m still making new friends.¬† ¬†Yes, we pay for it and it’s not cheap but it is/was worth every penny to me.¬†¬† The connections I have made are priceless, not to mention how beneficial it has been for my daughter.

So if you are  new mom, try not to be too shy.   If you want to make a new friend, go for it!   Chances are, the other mom is just as desperate for a new friend too!

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